Becoming Drug Free

This space, i want to use it to record my struggles and succeeds on my battle against drugs addiction. It is something i am not proud of being [an addict] and I know it is not an easy thing to do, but with Lord God's help I'll pass this test and become free! Drug free!!

As weeks go by, i'll write in full detail what i go thru and what things i do to overcome the necessity feeling that attacks every time i think about it. As well, I will appreciate any tip you readers can suggest to help with my fight against this terrible problem. Problem that not only me, but millions of persons live with, because drugs don't care if you are pretty, ugly, popular, wealthy, poor, famous, young, old, etc.. anyone can become an addict! Anyone!!

The number of persons with Drug Addiction problems increased from 14.5 million (6.5 percent of the population) in 2000 to 16.6 million (7.3%) in 2001 [usnodrugs.com-source]

I hope that my experiences will help someone on the same situation to feel like it's not alone... because really, is not. Thousands of people struggle everyday to heal that open wound that drugs usage has made in their lives. An even higher number enjoy falling deeper into addiction while many die thanks to it's consequences.

Drugs brake families apart, hurt parents who love and record wrong ways of life on little kids that when exposed to them, are more likely to become users/abusers with the years. Drugs steal money from the household pocket to do wrong things and change the person's life in such a way. They take away good opportunitites and turn them into what it could of been but is not. Take us to jail, minimize the quality time you spend with the family and fill with anger and regret anyone's heart. Control your everyday, pushing the addict to sometimes even commit crimes they don't want just to get drugged [they are expensive]. It's really sad how this society is victim of them drugs.........

Lots of teens, trying to fit, come across the possibility of escaping the easy way from their problems thru drugs, just to realize later that becoming an user is the biggest problem one could ever have. Many other people just repeat what they saw when they were kids and now are drug addicts because their parents were. And the most amazing thing is that you don't have to repeat the same mistakes your parents did! [doing so will greater the chances of passing the bad example to your children as well]. There's always a way out, and more importantly, an alternative way into life, so you don't even have to come close to this sad situation, because once you're in it, it's hard to get out. Really hard.

I started this Hub over 2 weeks ago......... still to this date i struggle with the same situation as before. And worst of all is that I don't even know how to start!! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but i never thought it would be this hard!

Just imagining the great happiness it produces me every time i consume, i get the perfect excuse. I love the feeling, and to be able to not feel at all. Not feel the stress that i live with everyday [thanks to them drugs, in addition to other stuff they caused of course]... I can just relax and don't think about anything. Nothing bothers, physical pain vanishes and I can finally empty my mind and relax. But. Isn't there something else i could do? There's plenty of options, but which is the right one for me? I don't have the desire to overcome this addiction nor the power neither. My strength is hiding somewhere... deep inside! Where is it?? I can't find it!!!

I really don't want to go to rehab as it will be my last option. I want to win this battle by myself! And i know that both God and this Hub will help me!

homework: find free-time activities that distract my mind in such way that i forget about drugs

till next time will be, and wish me luck =]

***I know drugs are bad. I know they have made me a different person. I don't recognize myself anymore... I've changed and not for good. I gotta do something soon or I will self destruct!

OMG, yesteday i had the weirdest talk ever. My explayer told me to be strong, to never look back and to try even harder. I think it has been the best advice in a long time. What makes it special is that i used to deal with him. I honestly gotta look up to him... a drug dealer, and pill addict who prayed with the heart and walked away from drugs with the Lord God's help. Made me think, that I can too do it! Also, why waste money? $10 a day makes $3,650 a year! I can do so much more than getting high with all that moolah. Vegas anyone? Maybe Bahamas!

But still i rather get high... How pathetic am I? Anyways I barely smoke now. I've really been tryin, but it aint easy. You know. There's always someone who invites you and you can't resist hehe. But I HAVE been working on my homework... My husband and I started working on our backyard a week ago. Every day I go there and while my son plays on his new swing and sand box, I plant beautiful flower that I hope grow lol. Seriously, how much money it's enough? More than 3 grand? Are you serious??? I never saw it that way....

I decided to put a piggy bank. Starting tomorrow, everytime i want to get drugged, I'll put $10. Let's see what we can buy in 3 months! [exited, can't wait] I love shopping so im sure i'll find a good way to use my pot money!! Be back in 2 weeks =]